Okay tonight I am feeling out of balance. I have realized that I am treading a very thin line as far as this new lifestyle is concerned and that routine is going to be my best friend and I am slowly sliding out of it. I have gone to the gym only twice this week on monday and thursday, and have gone out for meals four times this week, including twice today. I feel crappy and it’s no wonder why. I mean don’t get me wrong, dinner was great tonight and sometimes you need to get out but I am doing it to excess. I can’t control what is in my food when I go out and my body is feeling the difference. I also have gotten out of a pattern of weekly therapy and nearly skipped next week again making for an every other week pattern twice now. Judging by my stress level and reactions in therapy today, that is simply not acceptable. So instead of going to Harrisburg next friday to visit my friend, I am staying put all week and getting back into my routine. Monday, Wednesday and friday I am going to the gym. I am going to the doctor Wednesday morning. I am going to therapy friday or saturday. I will know once my therapist calls me back. I need to make the next few weeks about me. If I have to I will pull back even further from some of the relationships that are too taxing and require too much of my time ie: nightly phone calls and request some space for self-care. I am also upping my green smoothies to two a day to increase my nutrient intake and gain some internal balance. I need to reign myself back in and regain some tighter control over my life and my health.