Well today I started a new day of healthy living and am gettign back on track after being in the hospital. okay so it’s still no exercise but I did wake up and had a great green smoothie. And I have decided to go back to the gym and start slowly next monday and get bck itno my routine again. Very slowly this time. no three hour workouts. Just easy does it the way I slide into the pool instead of diving in. In the meantime I am spending the next three days resting and recovering. My groin still hurts tremendously fromt he inesertion site from the procedure so I am not able to exercise anyway. Instead I am working on my pen pal letters, eating healthily, resting, and working on my journalling, workbook work, and my trauma recovery resolution. So let me explain. When I was young, i was the vicitim of repeated trauma over several yuears. i don’t need to go into specifics. But it has effected me greatly. I have decided to go trhough a trauma recovery program that has been discussed by my private therapist and the therapists that I saw when I took part in the acute partial program at Newton Memorial Hospital in September. Basically it involves: completing one more trauma recovery workbook which I am nearly finished with, writing out my story in all it’s truthfullness in a seperate journal, using that journal to do a reality checklst: bascially that entials detailing my thoughts or actions and then the reality behind them, writing a forgiveness letter to my perpetrator, possibly doing some gestalt therapy in therapy, then burning everything in a release ceremony and hopefully saying goodbye to the truma memeroies and impacts that have plagued me for the last 17 years. I have done everythign else I can do. I have worked hard to try and put my perpetrator in prison on multiple occasions. I have tried to get a face to face resolution with him. I have tried therapy,. None of it has worked. This is my way I want and have designed to lessen the impact this has on my life. This is my way of letting go. I will only burn everything when I am truly ready to let go and all of the work is done. So that’s it. Since I can’t work on my body, I am working more on my mind.