Well boys and girls, the last 10 days I have been fighting; fighting a new bout of Major depression, fighting to play catch up for neglecting my body, fighting agoraphobia, fighting to catch up with my friends, fighting some days just to get out of bed. I think I am finally starting to see some progress. This journal entry will be long because it will be an update of the last 10 days.
Day 1 Monday 3/5/2012
I hopped on the scale this morning and realised just how bad my diet had become and how it has been effecting my body. I have gained 8 pounds in one week. Last week I just decided not to care anymore and gave up my diet, my exercise, and even pretty much getting out of bed. But today is a brand new day and a brand new start and I am determined to feel better and to fight back and get better. My first start is my body as well as my mind. I am going to start Jillian Michaels Body Revolution from the begining both the diet and exercise program. I am going to see my psychiatirst on wednesday to get some help with this crushing depression and I am going to go to therapy on thursday and commit to going. So to start the following are my mesaurements for the beginning of the program:
- Weight: 294 lbs
- Uper Chest 50 inches
- Bust 55.5 inches
- Midriff 50.5 inches
- Upper arm 18.25 inches
- Waist 52 inches
- Upper hip 57 inches
- Lower hip 57 inches
- Upper thigh 33 inches
- Mid thigh 30 inches
- Calf 20 inches
- Dress size 28
Yes my thigh circumference is bigger than most people’s waists, I get that. That’s why I am trying to change it. So today I got up and started after weighing and measuring myself with Jillian Michael’s excercise disc 1 which focuses on triceps, back, chest, abs, and quads. I drank 3 33oz bottles of water during the day. For breakfast I had fat free greek yogurt with three pecans and cinnamon. For lunch I had a small portion of salmon with a small salad. After lunch I did Jillian Michaels Cardio disc 1. Then for dinner I had a small steak and a spinach, tmoato, and olive salad. I am exhausted from all the excercise but feel it is a productive first day, despite the mood swings and fatigue.
Day 2 Tuesday 3/6/12
this morning I felt like I needed to get the exercise out of the way or I wouldn’t get it done. yes it was one of those ays. So I did Jillian Michael’s disc 2. This disc focuses on biceps, abs, glutes, and thighs. I manged to make it through that and had breakfast with my husband of pached eggs, 2 slices turkey bacon, 1 tomato, and 2 tbs guacomole. During the day I had 5 33oz bottles of water, a snack of yogurt, vanilla, and pecans, a lunch of salad with tuna and boiled eggs, and a dinner of tilapia and salad. I am too tired. to exercise for a second time but that’s a good start for day two. I also started on penpal letters. I have about 30 to catch up on.
Day 3 Wednesday 3/7/12
Today has been a tough day. i started out with breakfast of eggs, salmon, ionion, and spinach and a 33oz bottle of water. I was feeling so rough around the edges that I had my husband drive me to see the psychiatrist. D. Levinson spent 15 minutes with me and agreed that I was having an onset of Major Depression and added a second antidepressant, Welbutrin 150 Mg, to my already expansive medication regime. I headed to the pharmacy and then headed home. We later went as a family to the mall to see Liam sing with the ensemble. It was tough going to get there and I felt extremely anxious but I made it through. Got home and had a lunch of chicken breast and vegetable soup and a bottle of water. And then I did Jillian Michaels Cardio Disc 1. This disc kicked my ass. I couldn’t do several of the exercises and had to improvise but I did it all the way through at any rate. For dinner, I had a turkey burger, tomato, guacamole, roasted brussel sprouts and carrots. For a bedtime snack I had a 1/4 cup of hummus with baby carrots and bell pepper. There are virtually no carbs in the first 7 days of thius diet I’ve noticed. That’s probably why it works so well. Already I’ve noticed a difference in my body.
Day 4 Thursday 3/8/12
today my depression was really tough. I managed to make it to therapy and cried through the whole thing. But it was good to get out the frustration. I had three healthy protien rich meals and 3 bottles of water. I couldn’t bring myself to exercise.
Day 5 Friday 3/9/12
Today was alittle better. I started my day off with Jillian Michaels exercise disc one then had a healthy breakfast of eggs, turkey bacon, tomato, and gaucomole. I drank 2 bottles of water. My husband came home after work and I decided I needed a treat and made an unhealthy physically but satisfying emotionally choice of going out to dinner to the chinese buffet. Believe it or not, after all the carbs, I felt 100% better. It may have all just been in my mind though.
Day 6 Saturday 3/10/12
Today I was feeling crummy again so I skipped out on the excercise but ate three healthy high protein meals and a snack and had three bottles of water. I also started writing a few penpal letters which was good progress.
Day 7 Sunday 3/11/12
I started my day off right with Jillian Michaels disc 2 and followed it with a healthy breakfast. Aftr breakfast I made healthy choclate chip oatmeal muffins with Liam from JM’s cookbook. It was nice to do something together. I even had a muffin for lunch. For dinner I had chicken and homemade veggies soup. It was really good. I drank my quota of three bottles of water.
Day 8 Monday 3/12/12
Today my wieght was 284.8. A huge improvement from the begining of the week I am starting to feel better. I am writing more penpal letters, I had three healthy mals today and 5 bottles of water. I finished off the begining of week 2 with exercise, Jm’s Disc 1.
Day 9 Tuesday 3/13/12
Today was a good day. I had three healthy meals, a snack, 4 bottles of water, and worked my way through JM disc 2. The exercise is getting a little easier every day.
Day 10 Wednesday 3/14/12
Okay so I lied about the exercise getting easier. I did Jm’s Cardio Disc 1 and it took my breath away. Yikes! But I did it. So that’s a good thing. I treated myself to a bottle of Diet pepsi today. yes I know soda is bad for me but it tasted so damned good. Because of the soda, I also cut back on my water, but did have two healthy meals.
Day11 Thursday 3/15/12
Today I went out to lunch with old mike and it dredged up alot of emotional crap. It was a very hard day from there. I did manage to get my exercise in but it was a tough day.
Day 12 Friday 3/16/12
Today was therapy day. Talk about tough. But Dr. Kuna says I am making huge progress and learning alot about myself. It’s just really tough. But I got through it and came home to exercise. It was a bad food day for me. I had pasta sald for lunch while I was out and had corned beef sandwiches for dinner. And ice cream for dessert. I don’t anticipate weight loss this week. I did at least finish the day with JM Disc 2.
Day 13 Saturday 3/17/12
Today Liam and I hiked Bushkill falls the yellow trail as per his request. I would have liked to do the red trail but the yellow is a start. It was beautiful. It really strecthed my body to the limit though with all of the steps. On the way home Liam was hungry and there isn’t much between bushkill and home so we stopped for a burger and fries. Later thatnight I has a plain steak. I did drinks oem water but not much else for the day. But at least it was a lovely day. I also finally got to the bottome of my penpal pile and am officially all caught up. Yay!!